August 2008 Archives
While Ken's out posting things to the British Consulate, I'm mooching about at a loose end. So I thought I'd have a nosy about the Daily Male's website, as there's nothing like it for comedy. And, as ever, the Male didn't disappoint!
In which the Male fail. She's 'free' but still has a suspended sentence and has to pay a fine. And she has a criminal record now, no doubt. Specifics of the case aside, from the comments it looks like the Male have been all over stories of false allegations like a bad rash recently. What's saddening there is that so many women who really have been raped get scared off by the police threatening to arrest them for wasting police time, so they don't take it any further. As if the process of taking a rape case through the legal system isn't hard enough already. So, I felt moved to comment. They moderate their comments, which means mine will never see the light of day. There, anyway. None of my previous ones ever have. Here though, this is my space...
In which the Male seem remarkably unbiased, but their commenters go mad. Misogyny, racism, ageism...
Oh, and today's girl-crush (thinking about it, I should call them something else as I amn't a girl, and neither are any of my crushees - any good suggestions?) is Anna Ford. She rocks. And if we want to get all looks-based, she looks fucking amazing. Not 'despite her age' or any shit like that. I'm so bored of reading about how women over a certain age (50? 40? 30?) look good, despite their age. As if getting old was rather careless of them.
In which the Male fail. She's 'free' but still has a suspended sentence and has to pay a fine. And she has a criminal record now, no doubt. Specifics of the case aside, from the comments it looks like the Male have been all over stories of false allegations like a bad rash recently. What's saddening there is that so many women who really have been raped get scared off by the police threatening to arrest them for wasting police time, so they don't take it any further. As if the process of taking a rape case through the legal system isn't hard enough already. So, I felt moved to comment. They moderate their comments, which means mine will never see the light of day. There, anyway. None of my previous ones ever have. Here though, this is my space...
Here's a crazy idea for you 'journalists' at the Daily Male; why not report every single man who IS convicted of rape? Just for a week. And then, the next week, report on every rape case that gets thrown out for lack of evidence, or the man's found not guilty. You do understand that for a rape case to get to court, the police (who aren't usually overly sympathetic to complaints of rape) have to be convinced that there's enough to take to the CPS, who in turn have to feel that they have enough of a chance to secure a conviction?
Really, stop with the tired old bull that implies a woman just has to say that a man raped her for him to be thrown into prison, never to return. It simply doesn't work like that.
GMac, I bow to your greatness!
In which the Male seem remarkably unbiased, but their commenters go mad. Misogyny, racism, ageism...
Oh, and today's girl-crush (thinking about it, I should call them something else as I amn't a girl, and neither are any of my crushees - any good suggestions?) is Anna Ford. She rocks. And if we want to get all looks-based, she looks fucking amazing. Not 'despite her age' or any shit like that. I'm so bored of reading about how women over a certain age (50? 40? 30?) look good, despite their age. As if getting old was rather careless of them.
We don't get ads for birth control here, thankfully. Or any medications, other than over the counter things like Benylin or Lemslip or Nurofen. They're bad enough! But, can we have Sarah Haskins here? I've pretty much given up on telly just now, but there's nearly no funny women on British TV. Someone tell me I'm wrong and that there's hysterically funny women given regular screen time, and on terrestrial channels?
Today's girl-crush is Ellen Degeneres. I've always thought she's funny, but for her articulation of her desire for equality, I want to kiss her. Except we're both married now, that would make it a bit wrong...
Also; John McCain. What kind of scary-ass president would he be? I don't think Obama's perfect, by any means, but someone who appears to think that you, the people, aren't all equal? How about Ellen for prez?
Remember Kyle Payne? Well, guess who's ass is going to jail, where it belongs? On dragging myself out of bed this morning and looking up my reader, I was pleased to see this on Hoyden About Town and The Curvature. Thankfully, he'll almost certainly never work with rape survivors again in any official capacity, he'll never get past the criminal record checks. I still kind of want to know how he was found out; on another blog someone said something about him transferring files from his phone to a computer (which really negates his 'sudden impulse he had no control over' line of defence, I mean was it recurring or something?) and what he was originally charged with, as I'm reasonably sure he pled guilty to different charges. And did he ever admit exactly what he did to to the woman he assaulted?
"Shooting photographs and video" also sounds entirely consistent with acting on a "sudden impulse", an "event end[ing] as quickly as it began".
[Oh, he's updated his blog twice since the original 'apology'! How gratifying! My, aren't we lucky in the blogosphere? I'm not going to link it, I'm fed up of even thinking about the piece of shit, let alone giving him any more of the attention he so clearly desires. Anyway, he's already read what I have to say about what I think of him, twice, and it took me a good dozen smudge sticks to get the stench out of my room.]
"She added that since she [the victim] was unconscious, Payne is the only person who truly knows what happened that night and left the implication hanging that there might have been more to the event than him partially undressing her, touching her inappropriately and shooting photographs and video."
emphasis mine
"Shooting photographs and video" also sounds entirely consistent with acting on a "sudden impulse", an "event end[ing] as quickly as it began".
[Oh, he's updated his blog twice since the original 'apology'! How gratifying! My, aren't we lucky in the blogosphere? I'm not going to link it, I'm fed up of even thinking about the piece of shit, let alone giving him any more of the attention he so clearly desires. Anyway, he's already read what I have to say about what I think of him, twice, and it took me a good dozen smudge sticks to get the stench out of my room.]
So, I was listening to the radio before I got out of bed this morning. I like the Today program because John Humphreys doesn't take any shit from politicians and seems to really enjoy holding their feet to the fire. It's entertaining. They also include a segment called Thought For The Day. Sometimes it's interesting, when they have Rabbi Lionel Blue or basically anyone who isn't CoE Christian. This morning though, it was your fairly standard middle-England man, blarting on about Jesus. With relation to the news of Gary Glitter's return to the UK. His stance was that we rush to judge other people and ignore what it tells us about ourselves in the doing. It sounded like he was suggesting that we shouldn't judge Mr. Gadd for his crimes, as the rest of us aren't so innocent ourselves. A fair point, but really? Using a convicted child abuser* to make your point?? Um, where do the victims fit in? They are now girls of about 13 years old. Doesn't anything strike you as worthy of villification there? The majority of people are quite able to not abuse children, frankly I think it's perfectly acceptable to judge someone as criminal for doing so. Where or not he's 'sick', I couldn't say. I'm no psychiatrist, I don't know whether he's capable of a 'normal' adult realtionship. Nonetheless, he is classified as high risk.
And Mr. Christian speaker (I didn't get his name) didn't end there. To illustrate his point using the bible, he cited the story of a woman who was brought before Jesus as an adulterer. Should she be stoned to death for her sins (which could possibly be the sin of being raped by someone not her husband; I don't know the Bible, and it was written by the men who made those laws in the first place.), they asked him. He eventually said no, something about he with no sins being the first to cast a stone. Because it was never about the vicitm. It was all about the people lining up to throw stones.
Gotta love a church where the victim vanishes into thin air, especially when you can't blame them.
*****
There are other things that occured while I was out of the country, that you can be sure I would've written about. As it is, plenty other people did, so I'll just be lazy and direct you to them instead...
In which the Daily Male confound all expectations *cough* and blame drunk women for rape.
Fun fact! According to Home Office figures, 34% of women who make a complaint of rape have taken some amount of alcohol. That could be one white wine spritzer, it could be 20 flaming sambuccas. 70% of men who have complaints of rape made against them have taken alcohol. Again, it could be one spritzer, it could be 20 Apple Sourz.
But, hey, why let facts get in the way of some victim blaming?
*OK, so he didn't stand trial for rape, but the initial charges were for rape. After paying his 10 and 11 year old victims £1175 in 'blood money', the charges were reduced as a conviction of rape carries the death penalty in Vietnam. He's clearly a danger to children; having already been convicted of possessing child abuse pornography before he left the UK.
And Mr. Christian speaker (I didn't get his name) didn't end there. To illustrate his point using the bible, he cited the story of a woman who was brought before Jesus as an adulterer. Should she be stoned to death for her sins (which could possibly be the sin of being raped by someone not her husband; I don't know the Bible, and it was written by the men who made those laws in the first place.), they asked him. He eventually said no, something about he with no sins being the first to cast a stone. Because it was never about the vicitm. It was all about the people lining up to throw stones.
Gotta love a church where the victim vanishes into thin air, especially when you can't blame them.
*****
There are other things that occured while I was out of the country, that you can be sure I would've written about. As it is, plenty other people did, so I'll just be lazy and direct you to them instead...
In which the Daily Male confound all expectations *cough* and blame drunk women for rape.
Fun fact! According to Home Office figures, 34% of women who make a complaint of rape have taken some amount of alcohol. That could be one white wine spritzer, it could be 20 flaming sambuccas. 70% of men who have complaints of rape made against them have taken alcohol. Again, it could be one spritzer, it could be 20 Apple Sourz.
But, hey, why let facts get in the way of some victim blaming?
*OK, so he didn't stand trial for rape, but the initial charges were for rape. After paying his 10 and 11 year old victims £1175 in 'blood money', the charges were reduced as a conviction of rape carries the death penalty in Vietnam. He's clearly a danger to children; having already been convicted of possessing child abuse pornography before he left the UK.
Technically since midnight this morning.
I think I'm packed. That said, I have this feeling that I've forgotten something, something important at that. Oh, lead to charge Evadnie, that could be it.
Anyway. Unless I'm inspired to photo blog from the airport, or I go online while at Ken's, this is my last post for a couple of weeks. Tomorrow morning will mostly be taken up with me dashing around, doing a passable impersonation of a headless chicken crossed with a blue-arsed fly. Let's just say I like to pack for any and all eventualities, it comes of growing up in the Scottish climate. I'm not entirely kidding when I say that I'd pack an environment suit, if I had one...
So, with those images fresh in your mind, I bid you adiéu, dear reader. Have a nice couple of weeks. If you miss me, just play a game of Spot The Gender Stereotyping or Pornificulation when watching telly or reading any of a wide, wide selection of monthly publications or daily newspapers. It's fun, honest!
I think I'm packed. That said, I have this feeling that I've forgotten something, something important at that. Oh, lead to charge Evadnie, that could be it.
Anyway. Unless I'm inspired to photo blog from the airport, or I go online while at Ken's, this is my last post for a couple of weeks. Tomorrow morning will mostly be taken up with me dashing around, doing a passable impersonation of a headless chicken crossed with a blue-arsed fly. Let's just say I like to pack for any and all eventualities, it comes of growing up in the Scottish climate. I'm not entirely kidding when I say that I'd pack an environment suit, if I had one...
So, with those images fresh in your mind, I bid you adiéu, dear reader. Have a nice couple of weeks. If you miss me, just play a game of Spot The Gender Stereotyping or Pornificulation when watching telly or reading any of a wide, wide selection of monthly publications or daily newspapers. It's fun, honest!
[Should really be subtitled 'In Which I Nearly Throw Up. Lots.']
Dear BBC,
I realise that you are a massive broadcasting corporation, made up of thousands of people, all with their own ideas, beliefs and opinions.
Thank you for such sensible reporting of the murder of Kellie Telesford, respecting the fact that she was a woman in everything but the chromosomes.
(The defence lawyer's quote? I can't begin to describe just how disgusting it is. The transphobia-panic in it is screaming out from between the words. I realise that it is the defence's job to come up with reasons why their client either didn't commit the crime or had a reason for it, but to revert to offensive, just plain wrong ideas about transgenderedness [in the interests of full disclosure; I'm a cisgendered woman. I have never been a transperson, so would never even try to speak like I know what it's like to be a trans person - I don't. But empathy isn't difficult. I can, to an extent, put myself in the shoes of someone else and try to imagine how I would feel if I were them. Anyway, you don't have to be trans to be offended by "While we are referring to her as a female out of courtesy because that is how she wanted to be known. She was nevertheless a male with a man's strength and you would have thought that she, as a victim, would have fought her attacker but there was no signs." Anyone can see the victim-blaming.] is just... I mean, we're supposed to be a civilised society. People have a right to live their lives as they choose, as long as they harm no-one else, you know? This is a shining example of bigotry, and it makes me sick to my stomach. But at least the Beeb reported it respectfully. The earlier report of the first court hearing is simply headlined "Man in court over woman's murder". And the transness of the victim is left to the end.)
So can you explain to me how abuse of a 15 year old girl by a 30 year old man is "an affair"? Sexual contact of an adult with a minor (remember; someone under 16) is statutory rape* and assault. This man is now on the sex offender's register and is not allowed to live with children, or have unsupervised contact with children. (The classification of him being at "medium risk" of offending befuddles me, but I have mentioned before that I think judges operate in the most bizarro ways when it comes to rape and sexual assault cases.) And his crimes are variouly described as "an affair", "sexual activity", "sexual encounter"and a "sexual affair". It would be more accurate to describe it as sexual abuse of a minor over an extended period. He abused a child. Perhaps if the girl had been younger, there would be less blurring of the true nature of the crimes. But how much younger? If she'd been 14 at the time? 13? 8? Remember, we live in a world where judges think that 10 year olds can give consent. This pornified culture wants little** girls to look like adults [eta: see below] and adult women to look like*** little girls****.
I have to go vomit and then shower with a Brillo Pad now.
Kthxbai.
[Edit to add this link to "Sexy clothes for kids on sale in high street stores" from the Sun. The article itself demonstrates the push for little girls to be sexual beings from single digit ages, within the patriarchal standards of sexy - tits and ass and always, always ready to please the male gaze. That The Sun printed it has me just about laughing so hard I might be sick, given that they are as much to blame for the promotion and normalisation of this 'always available' standard as Playboy, Nuts, Loaded, Zoo, The Daily Star, The Daily Sport, FHM, American Apparel... The list goes on and on and on and on...]
*I'm not happy with "By contrast, other rape generally occurs when a person overcomes another person by force and without the person's consent.", because rape doesn't have to involve force. It does, however, involve a lack of consent, and consent obtained with threat. I'm so tired of the lazy assumption that for it to really be rape, it has to be violent to some degree. And I'm tired of seeing it everywhere, and I'm tired of calling it out all the time. But I'm not going to quit, because staying quiet never changed anything. Anyway.
**no further links to what a google search for 'jailbait' threw up, cuz I will throw up. For srsly.
***if you look at this, some of the answers are truely vomit inducing.
****the photo at the top is creepy, hence the inclusion.
Dear BBC,
I realise that you are a massive broadcasting corporation, made up of thousands of people, all with their own ideas, beliefs and opinions.
Thank you for such sensible reporting of the murder of Kellie Telesford, respecting the fact that she was a woman in everything but the chromosomes.
(The defence lawyer's quote? I can't begin to describe just how disgusting it is. The transphobia-panic in it is screaming out from between the words. I realise that it is the defence's job to come up with reasons why their client either didn't commit the crime or had a reason for it, but to revert to offensive, just plain wrong ideas about transgenderedness [in the interests of full disclosure; I'm a cisgendered woman. I have never been a transperson, so would never even try to speak like I know what it's like to be a trans person - I don't. But empathy isn't difficult. I can, to an extent, put myself in the shoes of someone else and try to imagine how I would feel if I were them. Anyway, you don't have to be trans to be offended by "While we are referring to her as a female out of courtesy because that is how she wanted to be known. She was nevertheless a male with a man's strength and you would have thought that she, as a victim, would have fought her attacker but there was no signs." Anyone can see the victim-blaming.] is just... I mean, we're supposed to be a civilised society. People have a right to live their lives as they choose, as long as they harm no-one else, you know? This is a shining example of bigotry, and it makes me sick to my stomach. But at least the Beeb reported it respectfully. The earlier report of the first court hearing is simply headlined "Man in court over woman's murder". And the transness of the victim is left to the end.)
So can you explain to me how abuse of a 15 year old girl by a 30 year old man is "an affair"? Sexual contact of an adult with a minor (remember; someone under 16) is statutory rape* and assault. This man is now on the sex offender's register and is not allowed to live with children, or have unsupervised contact with children. (The classification of him being at "medium risk" of offending befuddles me, but I have mentioned before that I think judges operate in the most bizarro ways when it comes to rape and sexual assault cases.) And his crimes are variouly described as "an affair", "sexual activity", "sexual encounter"and a "sexual affair". It would be more accurate to describe it as sexual abuse of a minor over an extended period. He abused a child. Perhaps if the girl had been younger, there would be less blurring of the true nature of the crimes. But how much younger? If she'd been 14 at the time? 13? 8? Remember, we live in a world where judges think that 10 year olds can give consent. This pornified culture wants little** girls to look like adults [eta: see below] and adult women to look like*** little girls****.
I have to go vomit and then shower with a Brillo Pad now.
Kthxbai.
[Edit to add this link to "Sexy clothes for kids on sale in high street stores" from the Sun. The article itself demonstrates the push for little girls to be sexual beings from single digit ages, within the patriarchal standards of sexy - tits and ass and always, always ready to please the male gaze. That The Sun printed it has me just about laughing so hard I might be sick, given that they are as much to blame for the promotion and normalisation of this 'always available' standard as Playboy, Nuts, Loaded, Zoo, The Daily Star, The Daily Sport, FHM, American Apparel... The list goes on and on and on and on...]
*I'm not happy with "By contrast, other rape generally occurs when a person overcomes another person by force and without the person's consent.", because rape doesn't have to involve force. It does, however, involve a lack of consent, and consent obtained with threat. I'm so tired of the lazy assumption that for it to really be rape, it has to be violent to some degree. And I'm tired of seeing it everywhere, and I'm tired of calling it out all the time. But I'm not going to quit, because staying quiet never changed anything. Anyway.
**no further links to what a google search for 'jailbait' threw up, cuz I will throw up. For srsly.
***if you look at this, some of the answers are truely vomit inducing.
****the photo at the top is creepy, hence the inclusion.
So, on my last day off, I went shopping. With Dad in tow. I managed to shake him off, but was mindful that I couldn't leave him kicking his heels for too long. In my haste, I bought the wrong size shoes. Bear in mind, these are shoes I'm thinking about wearing to get married in, so I'd like them to not pinch. Anyway, I digress.
Earlier today, I went back with Mum to exchange them. All is well in foot land, at least until I get to New York and can't get get them on because the heat has made them swell up like watermelons...
We browsed in the Body Shop (something I rarely do anymore; I worked for Lush so it was an anathema for a while, and on receiving a free pot of body butter with Marie Claire, I was faintly disgusted to see that the second ingredient was silicone - not something I want to put on my skin. My mooncup isn't absorbed into my body, so that doesn't bother me) as Mum was looking for something. The young woman who was working at that branch today couldn't have been nicer, and it made me miss working in retail a bit. Oh, I'm all over the show just now. What I wanted to highlight, and give kudos to, is The Body Shop's anti-domestic violence campaign. I love that they use a photo of two young, beautiful women (one black, one white). I love that they are appealing to people to look out for their friends. I love that they have leaflets instore to educate people on how to help and empower a woman how is being abused. I love that the underlying thread through the advice is that it's about helping the woman in the abusive relationship, no one else.
So, I'll be buying the lip balm and possibly the lip gloss too. Not only because I wish to support Women's Aid (I could donate directly) but because I wish to support high profile campaigns by companies like The Body Shop and they'll keep doing them as long as money goes in the till.
Earlier today, I went back with Mum to exchange them. All is well in foot land, at least until I get to New York and can't get get them on because the heat has made them swell up like watermelons...
We browsed in the Body Shop (something I rarely do anymore; I worked for Lush so it was an anathema for a while, and on receiving a free pot of body butter with Marie Claire, I was faintly disgusted to see that the second ingredient was silicone - not something I want to put on my skin. My mooncup isn't absorbed into my body, so that doesn't bother me) as Mum was looking for something. The young woman who was working at that branch today couldn't have been nicer, and it made me miss working in retail a bit. Oh, I'm all over the show just now. What I wanted to highlight, and give kudos to, is The Body Shop's anti-domestic violence campaign. I love that they use a photo of two young, beautiful women (one black, one white). I love that they are appealing to people to look out for their friends. I love that they have leaflets instore to educate people on how to help and empower a woman how is being abused. I love that the underlying thread through the advice is that it's about helping the woman in the abusive relationship, no one else.
So, I'll be buying the lip balm and possibly the lip gloss too. Not only because I wish to support Women's Aid (I could donate directly) but because I wish to support high profile campaigns by companies like The Body Shop and they'll keep doing them as long as money goes in the till.
So, if you read feminist stuff on the internets, like I do, you'll've heard of Kyle Payne recently. If you don't, or have but missed all mention of this odious creep (and that's me being ever so kind), let me fill in the back story. He claims to be a feminist ally, has blogged about feminism and worked as a rape crisis counsellor. (Myself, I wouldn't be comfortable in the slightest, talking to an unknown guy about having been raped, but I get that it's a personal choice for each woman.)
So how he can reconcile his declared politics with sexually assaulting a young woman, I don't know.
As if that's not enough, he's still claiming to be feminist. Oh, I just noticed that he's mentioned experience of child sexual abuse... A classic excuse for abusers (cf. Chris Langham) as if somehow inflicting further misery is mitigated by their past trauma.
He blarts on and on (and on) about all this, and asks women to email him with their thoughts. I'd eat my right foot before doing so (we all know how much I enjoy a pretty pair of shoes) because it would just encourage him. There are some male feminists/feminist allies who think that declaring themselves such should earn them special treatment; that they are somehow more special than female feminists. That by basically doing what they should be doing anyway (treating everyone equally and with respect), they should get a cookie.
Kyle Payne can fuck right off.
So how he can reconcile his declared politics with sexually assaulting a young woman, I don't know.
As if that's not enough, he's still claiming to be feminist. Oh, I just noticed that he's mentioned experience of child sexual abuse... A classic excuse for abusers (cf. Chris Langham) as if somehow inflicting further misery is mitigated by their past trauma.
He blarts on and on (and on) about all this, and asks women to email him with their thoughts. I'd eat my right foot before doing so (we all know how much I enjoy a pretty pair of shoes) because it would just encourage him. There are some male feminists/feminist allies who think that declaring themselves such should earn them special treatment; that they are somehow more special than female feminists. That by basically doing what they should be doing anyway (treating everyone equally and with respect), they should get a cookie.
Kyle Payne can fuck right off.
